When someone leaves immediately after a Marvel movie
Chris Evans → Top 10 things never before said by a Superhero on David Letterman (July 2011) [x]
Jimmy asked you for your #AwkwardBreakup tweets and you did not disappoint.
COOL DATE IDEA: take a really long nap with me
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
I’m upset and I want new clothes
please pour six gallons of cold water over my head